Sworn Testimony February 2014
I have spent 48 hours taking counsel from wise people that I respect, now I know the right thing to do. I have an application in for legal aid and will be in the Dublin Circuit Court on the due date to request an adjournment while that is processed.
It would seem that I may have more than one defence available to me.
On advice, I have decided to extend this to deleting *ALL* tweets on both twitter accounts that refer to Moran, without a hint of admission of liability. The reasoning being that all of these tweets were specific to the context of their time and have no present or future relevance, and in most, if not all, cases are unlikely to ever be read again, unless a court is asked to assess them individually, so that I cannot see the slightest justification in creating a situation where a court may have to wade through them, or where lawyers get to bill for wading through them.
I have password protected most of my blog and set all related videos to “private” for the same reason. They had very small numbers of views and were unlikely to be watched again. Apart from which this had become a bewildering, badly catalogued labyrinth of articles even I couldn’t find my way around – many of which were topical and have long outlived their relevance, and there was loads of duplication. They are all available if you need them just ask.
Maybe I will catalogue it all coherently and put it back online, but, in the real world I doubt it. My life has moved on from this issue…there is an whole generation of sex work activists who are not going to stand down and are doing just fine without me. NOT KIDDING about the CFS, and some of the time I am struggling just to get through basic self maintenance, and there are a few other things I have to attend to.
In the real world pretty much the only thing I wanted LESS than to spend my life as a sex worker was to spend my life as a former sex worker. Somebody suggested I finish the autobiography I had started in 2012 just before all of this and the thought made me shudder, everything I have to give to the world from my life experience is a ball I already threw out that others have run with and improved outside all recognition.
There is a novel I have been trying to write since 1997 that I might be able to finish now but if I do, it won’t be about me.
The only reason this site has continued to exist until now is for my own protection because of this article:
If you read it through you will see that if I deleted it I would be deleting the facts that defend me from very manipulative misrepresentation of the contents intended to incite real hatred and harm, citing my name from within the abolitionist lobby and hosted from many years on the Turn Off the Red Light Facebook page under the control of the Immigrant Council of Ireland. This is certainly illegal in Ireland but as a matter for civil law which I did not, and do not, have the resources materially, mentally or emotionally to initiate, and that is the catch 22 that has crippled all sex workers (among others) in Ireland in terms of fair treatment within civil society, the legislature and the law. The Immigrant Council of Ireland finally de-linked it from “Turn Off the Red Light” late in 2017 – but it still remains on facebook as soon as it is deleted I can password protect that page too, but until then it is not safe to do so.
Another example of this is in the wanton disregard for my safety and the data protection act with which my full name, address and ex-directory contact numbers were published along with my sworn statement that I was once a sex worker in a Northern Ireland assembly report. Because I do not have the resources to take action in civil law it took 2 terrifying years to get my address taken out of the online version of that report.
If I could have afforded civil action there was much more and I feel sure that others could say the same.
This is who I am:
- I am Beautiful, I am Powerful, I am Bethany
- My Memoir of Sex Work in Dublin Between 1987 and 1993 (written and date locked in 2001)
When I was young I was in the care system in the Uk where the abuses were not as blatant as in Ireland. Even so I saw too many young girls completely crushed by the system set up to protect them and then later crushed again on the backswing that offered them “help” and “support” to recover.
Because of my disability it is my fate to live out my whole life on the outside, looking in, with ruthless objectivity, because of my intellect, it is sometimes my curse to understand what is happening long before anyone else, and because of my conscience it becomes my duty to act on that insight. I am always profoundly aware of this.
Fear prevented me from acting to try and expose what I had seen in the care system in the hope of protecting others and that has always been a deep shame too. It is only now, 45 years on, that some of the things I saw are coming to light, but more of them are being buried forever behind sensationalist scandals and, I suspect, perpetuated in the system in an ongoing way.
Between 1987 and 1993 as a street sex worker, and 1993 and 1998 as an independent activist (publicly under the name “Angela”) I saw remarkably similar patterns within the system replicated not only in the treatment of sex workers in general, but also, in more diverse ways in their individual lives and ironically, the factors that had driven many of them into a corner where their only remaining honest option was to sell sex.
- “Girls on the Street the Need For a Welcome” Jim Finucane 1989
- Interdisciplinary Report on Prostitution in Ireland, Dublin, Irish Human Rights Commission, April, 2009 – now ignored by some of it’s authors.
By 1998 I still had not found any help and support for my own situation which was, and remains, in most ways, dire, and I was exhausted. I felt I had achieved all that I could and that the resistance to independent self advocacy was impenetrable throughout state provision and civil society.
Over the next few years I was horrified to see remarkably similar patterns replicated in the treatment of autistics and other disabled people. I am coming to believe that, as a society we are incapable of seeing anyone disabled or disadvantaged as an equal deserving autonomy and equal rights on a very deep level and that, as a result we infantilise and commodify them throughout civil society as a default. Which is a neat objective description of a reality that excludes real human beings from the rights and privileges most people can take for granted and slowly destroys their potential from the inside out.