Email to Ivana Bacik

From: Gaye D
Sent: Tuesday 7 February 2017 23:43
To: ivana.bacik
Subject: Hassoun Syria


Never forget that this vile old man who signed off on tens of thousands of summary execution warrants was good enough to be allowed to speak for himself, but sex worker, who never hurt anyone were not.

Don’t even bother composing some waffle about the two token Romanians let in at the last minute because the issue was forced on TV because – I was the person who forced it, despite being too ill to follow through and make sure we had REAL representation not the pre-arranged tokenism and I already know those two women were only let in because one of them had a pre-existing relationship with former pimp and Ruhama puppet Justine Reilly.

I don’t just guess that the whole consultation was corrupt, I stood and watched it unfold that way at very close range, just as I have watched your career unfold in that respect from a more detached distance. Fact has never featured high. I think I may have been present the last time you listened to a sex worker and I think that was 1996…

…a disgusting old man who signed countless death warrants for children is good enough to get a hearing, but a sex worker who never harmed anyone is too far beneath you to listen to even in private…not point knowing the truth when telling it would cost you so many important alliances, never mind the personal friends.

There is no way in the world I am going to let you sit back and kid yourself that nobody minded, or nobody was harmed.

I have been harmed beyond repair, not by the legislation itself, but by the corruption and deceit that went into building and pushing it.

I have CFS/ME now…just because of the trauma of looking at the travesty of your friends at Turn Off the Red Light to fight them, and I had no choice but fight them because of a little thing in the back of my head called a conscience.

The worst of it is knowing just how abusinve and harmful so called “civil society” really is.

My position now is that I am bracing myself to take my life if Brexit costs me my right to reside here in the only home I have known for 27 years. There will be no alternative. As an autistic who copes by isolating I could not make the transition sane, the UK does not make it possible for someone like me to survive, and even if I did, what kind of existence would it be just grieving the whole world I built around me in isolation here so I could go on? I can’t stand even being near people, it makes me too nervous and anxious. I could not live in a town, or near people….and I have tried.

Any attempt at citizenship would be a waste of time and energy I cannot spare with three of your tame Ministers (including Justice) gunning for me

The one factor that set my need to isolate in stone, age 35 and made it impossible for me to build any kind of life, was your friends at Ruhama and their gaslighting mind games, offering “support” conditional on submission to their fad du jour that, at the time, required you to be educationally subnormal and acting out childhood sexual abuse, and willing to turn up at meetings and say whatever you were told to say. I am top 2% of the ability range and was in Duncroft a couple of years too soon to be able to even vamp it….and their bullshit was fed through the entire system so that the first thing you had to do to get anybody’s help was to explain that Ruhama et all were lying about everything, and you needed a totally different kind of help and support. You got nowhere. As an autistic I could not have played along if I had wanted to, because it is horrifically stressful for me to lie.

Of course I have now been called a liar twice from the floor of the Dial and once from RTE to protect your pet fraud Rachel Moran…can you even conceive of the impact of that much gaslighting on an autistic raised in a toxic family who has to get past the same kind of childhood conditioning to it just to function?

You couldn’t care less…just as you couldn’t care less that my name, address and phone number were exposed by Stormont for 18 months while your friends at Turn Off the Red Light deliberately tried to incite the very worst kind of hate against me. I still sleep with a commando knife close to my hand, I can’t sleep any other way.

By the time I was 13 (I first sold sex age 26 so it wasn’t that) I had no idea how to trust any human being…how do you suppose, after watching the disgraceful performance of you and your friends, I will ever find a way to trust anyone near my life as I get older and sicker? It would be mental and emotional torture to me to engage with any NGO having seen for myself how morally bankrupt and unscrupulous they are.

No, you can’t make some show gesture to “fix” this…I could not force myself to be in the same room with you or anyone connected to you, let alone hand you any control over my life, now or ever…your level of moral bankruptcy is a threat level I cannot cope with.

But you can spend the five minutes it takes you to get your denial back on straight knowing who you really are, what you are really part of and the kind of collateral damage you really do, because, frankly, that is all the humanity you will ever be capable of.

I hope the money, power and prestige you get out of it is worth the people like me you routinely sacrifice to it. You are not so very different from Hassoun after all – are you?