(And one year on I am still here)
It really is time for me to go. I did my best and gave it all I had and still failed. I don’t want a career out of this the way I don’t want a hole in my head (perhaps even less?). So there is nothing to hang around for and the strain is grinding me into fine powder.
I am having to deal with too many people, and people and me do not mix…bad stuff happens and the strain is unreal. When it gets to the stage where you can pick up the phone (in a haze of pain pills and Bushmills) and genuinely misidentify *WHICH* feck the head merchant is on the other end of the line (hilariously…what I wouldn’t give to be able to tell *THAT* story, but I really can’t), you know you have been out of your depth too long and it’s time to swim for shore.
If anyone needs me for anything you know where to find me. But I need to cut myself off and literally wipe the whole issue and everything connected to it out of my mind and sight to get my head back for personal use.
I need to get used to isolating again because it’s the only state in which I can half function as a human being.
So have an absolutely wonderful Christmas…and goodbye.