My time as a sex worker July 1987- March 1993 This is a new compilation of everything I ever wrote about that time since 2001, so it will give you an idea of the background.
How would the Nordic Model have affected my real life?
In March or April 1987 I spent 48 hours frantically trying to find resources to avoid having to sell sex. Let’s see what would be on offer under the Nordic Model today:
**Ruhama: Our Services
- Cash to pay outstanding bills (equivalent to about €300 today)
- Resolution of serious issues with a community welfare officer in very difficult circumstances that had withdrawn my rent supplement.
- Urgent help with compound PTSD
- Urgent help to identify and address autism and a severe psycho-social disability
They might have helped with 1. and 2. as long as I said whatever they wanted me to say and played whatever part they wanted me to play. In the unlikely event I could do that and sustain it long enough how was that going to impact on 3 and 4? How was Ruhama going to impact on 3 and 4?
I, Nostradama, the Ruhama Story
Particularly when I stopped playing along and started to answer them back
When Ruhama Went Too Far This was password protected – due to further developments there may be legal issues – but I consider any consequences to be my baby shower gift to Adrina Podaru and her friend Ana Tomascu who will be right under Ruhama’s thumb in prison, people need to know exactly what the underside of Ruhama’s thumb looks like
Seems to me it doesn’t bear thinking about, and the only way I would survive that would be to run, hide and do the best I could for myself, which would have compounded the problems that were going to drive me to sell sex in the first place.
In the real world I found someone who tried to help me – see page 62 – that wasn’t going to work either, and left me in the same place, but without anything like the damage Ruhama would do – except I can’t help thinking he would have dreamed up a strategy to “game” them that I couldn’t execute, sustain, or live with and would have taken my failure as a personal injury.
So, how would sex work be under the Nordic Model? Have to transpose reality a bit here because in 1987 – when they didn’t check for drink driving until you actually did some damage – most of the street clients would be controlled drunks – these days that is SO not possible.
Would I work indoors rather than on the street?
Not an option, because my psycho-social disability makes it impossible for me to sustain ongoing interaction with people or even be around them very much. You may not realise, because you do it unconsciously, but interaction with complete strangers is far simpler than interaction with people as they become familiar and interaction with people who do not matter is far simpler than interaction with people who do. As for online advertising, I could write a book on the social politics of permanently advertising on Escort Ireland – from an objective perspective – subjectively I would hide under the nearest table and refuse to come out.
If I could have handled working indoors, on any terms, I wouldn’t have been driven to sell sex at all – so now you know the “X” factor – the reason why someone like me was left with NO OPTION but sell sex. You may have some thoughts of your own on how that would have worked out in a world full of the abolitionists we have come to know .
So I would have been on the street
Long term, when I had built up some money to invest I might have been able to tour internationally *IF* and this is a big *IF* I could have braced myself to put my heart and soul into sex work which would never come naturally or easily to me. I don’t know if I could have done that, maybe the obvious benefits of international touring would have outweighed the cost – after all, isn’t most of life about seeking the benefits that outweigh the costs? But if I had been able to do that it would have changed me. I have no way to predict how that would work out, but I am pretty sure the Nordic Model isn’t deemed successful if it corners you into encouraging clients to make a five course meal out of sex work in ways you are uncomfortable with? Thoughts?
All the harmless clients I had and actually learned much from about life, cars, DIY, you name it – even just about being around people in circumstances simple and well defined enough for me to handle would be gone…too scared of arrest and public shaming to even try, and all that would be left were the ignorant, manipulative and controlling clients I usually managed to avoid on sight.
I would also be in a lot of danger from the criminals who had figured out a way to use the Nordic Model to leverage their way into exploiting sex workers, because it is not my nature to say “No thank you” and hide while they prey on someone else.
But of course, I could always pick up a phone and call Ruhama – go back too **