I couldn’t for a long while though.
Mia is practically a poster child for self harmful co-dependence, but I do not believe she is either cruel or a liar, so why on earth would she tell endless lies to do cruel damage to the women she used to work with?
Then I realised, I am a very good judge of character, and all I had to do to understand the truth was listen, and Mia would not be able to stop herself telling me the truth.
I was right:
This is where I have to talk to you directly Mia, because at this point, your reaction takes priority over anyone else’s. I hate having to write this post because I am pretty sure it will hurt you a great deal in the short term. I do not think I would be able to type the words unless I knew they would also save you having to live with the guilt of being a part of terrible harm in the long term.
But I am not like the people you are used to with their casual, manipulative cruelty, I would not be saying this at all unless I had a gift to give you that will make it better.
Trying to live with guilt is the key to you isn’t ?
You are dependent on Ruhama and “Turn Off the Red Light” for absolution. They are the only people who will go on telling you that you did the right thing, in fact, they will go on telling you pretty much anything you want to hear as long as you are useful.
Well here is the thing, you DID NOT do the right thing, and deep down you know that, which is why it goes on wrecking your head while you try to wreck more lives to fix it. You interfered unforgiveably in another woman’s life because you were infatuated enough to resent every aspect of her heterosexuality, and because your relationships depend on asserting enough control to make you feel secure, in the guise of help, over people you perceive to be lamer ducks than you. Now that woman is dead, and you need very powerful absolution just to live with that.
But that isn’t the gift that will make it better, that is one hell of a body blow to give anyone, but easier coming from a stranger you will never know than from someone you care about.
Here is my gift to set you free:
Someone I know had two lovely teenaged daughters, less than a year apart. One was so darn wild it was scary at times. The other was every mother’s dream, studied hard, never drank or smoked…loved children so much…
…and all the right things she did put her in exactly the right place, on a fine Autumn evening to be hit by a car driven by a junkie. If you want to contact me privately I can show you where…this is not a made up story, it is real life…
…the gift this truth should be to you is proof that even if you had kept your infatuation and your need to interfere and control to yourself, that poor woman could still have found herself in the path of a speeding car, and be just as dead.
Philosophically speaking, your failure to do all the wrong, selfish things would be just as responsible.
Morally of course we are only responsible for the active things we do, and the choices we make…
I have nothing more to say here. If you listen to the video Mia will tell you the story in her own words and once I hand an intelligent and honest woman the moral methadone that will stand down her addiction to the absolution she is selling other people lives, along with her own soul to buy it is not for me to tell her what to think without that!
Just as it is not for her to tell other intelligent and honest people what to think in order to buy false absolution.
7 August 2015
I have finally gained new insight.
A woman works for the HSE in rehab admin for years.
She makes a stupid mistake and chooses to take drugs, she makes a good choice and decides to sell sex rather than commit crimes and harm people to finance that.
As a drug addicted sex worker she meets and becomes fond of a young woman in a similar position. She intervenes and prevents a client helping this young woman by getting her a flat and helping her escape the partner who leeched and preyed upon her.
The young woman dies shortly afterwards.
Another young woman she knows in a similar position exits sex work onto a methodone program but returns at Christmas for money to buy gifts (a very old tradition on Burlington Road). She encourages this young woman to join her in a (paid) drug party with 8 men.
The young woman dies shortly afterwards.
This woman has been a sex worker for years but has never heard of trafficking until she is brought to Denise Charlton who explains it to her.
Forgive me if I do not feel comfortable with this same woman having a say in anybody’s future.
The details of all the above can be found here:
We need to re-engage our power of critical thinking and stop allowing people to set themselves up to inform policy without even the basic checks we would apply to buying a secondhand car.