I don’t, I personally hated it, and I am never totally comfortable with anybody doing it.
That is not a “right and wrong thing” by the way, that is a “my feelz” thing, and I am old enough to know the difference. I have loads of super women on my twitter feed who are sex workers and pornstars and my head does a ruthless split between the person and the job they do.
I even find page three cringemakingly tacky. Not amoral or “gender unequal”, just old fashioned tacky. I am firmly convinced that such things as page three are put on earth by the fairies as pointers to help us avoid marrying the wrong people.
If I live 100 thousand years I will never truly relate to the women who really love selling sex. I know Laura Lee since we were borrowing condoms off Jezebel, and I still don’t “get it”, despite the fact that we have a lot of other ideas and opinions in common, but I also know her long enough to know that she DEFINATELY does not run around saying she likes thing unless she actually does, really, seriously NOT GOING TO HAPPEN.
I do not fight this battle for sex work…that battle is for those who love and choose it to fight. I fight this battle against the only proffered alternatives, which are anywhere between abuse and abomination.
The NGO sector is completely out of control and has become a law unto itself. Social Services seem to have begun in that position and only got worse since.
Do either ever do any real good?
Sometimes, a rare person manages to spend a year or two doing the best they can before the peer pressure, the internal politics and the sheer weight of hypocrisy in combination with absorbing the honest suffering of those they try to give real help and comfort to caves them in.
Sometimes an even rarer person manages to hold out for years, but, in general, the only people who last in Social Services and the NGO sector are deficient in affective empathy and driven by a deep need to control their environment.
I knew that when I was 16, and I have spent the 40 years since learning, sometimes in the hardest ways, that I was not being cynical, nor imagining things, it really *IS* that bad.
People like me, we don’t go on fighting because we are obsessed to the point of having no lives, we going on fighting because in the guise of “help” the system ground us up and spat us out too badly damaged to ever have a real life again, so all we can, in conscience, do with our time and emotions is fight to prevent others suffering the same.
I do not say much about the bigger picture because I do not have a better alternative to suggest. Any system that gives human people significant power over other, more vulnerable human people will inevitably end up rotten to the core because of some aspects of human nature. I have no answers except to protect every possible exit and escape hatch from that sinister merry-go-round.
Sex work is one of the few honest, harmless parachutes out of that. A CHANCE to save yourself, and possibly also your children, without the horrific damage regularly meted out by social services and the NGO sector in the guise of this year’s trend in social care that can often be in direct contradiction of a previous trend, or worse again, this year’s corporate or personal power game, which is always, even unconsciously, utterly ruthless.
This was brought home to me when a woman who does love her sex work told me about someone else who needs out more badly than anyone I ever heard of. I cannot go into details for fear of identifying her, but selling sex traumatises her more deeply than any fictional Ruhama puppet ever pretended it traumatised them.
This is not happening in a Shanghai cathouse, it is happening in Ireland today. She is not trafficked or coerced in any way, except in the sense of having more financial commitments than money to pay them and no way to get a job that will cover that.
Those rat traps are ALL OVER any society, and those who fall into them are apt to say as little about them as possible, but those rat traps will never go away.
This person needs rescue more badly than I ever did, and I needed it badly enough. She already checked out Ruhama and found out what I could have told her 20 years ago. They have *NOTHING* relevant to offer anyone, unless brainwashing into a pseudo cult of victim exploitation happens to be the optimal solution to your problems.
The reason why that is so is very simple. The abolitionist culture, worldwide is just a self serving fad. I have never come across a sincere, intelligent, empathetic person who was an abolitionist and could produce hard facts to support that. They are all, without exception, self centred, patronising and ignorant armed with nothing more than the same set of propaganda catchphrases with no factual basis at all.
“89% of prostituted women want to do something else”
Really? And you asked them ALL? You must be quite tired.
I don’t suppose you bothered to ask them if they would rather be destitute or on welfare than sell sex?
…or did a comparison study of the percentage of people who want out of OTHER kinds of work?
“Pimps in Ireland are one million euro richer this weekend, thanks to sex buyers”*
But you must grant that at least they file honestly for income tax, otherwise where would you get that figure from?
You also really need to allow for the fact that most sex workers will give two fingers to parasites and exploiters faster than anyone you can think of. In fact that it why they refuse to have anything to do with you. As a result it is highly unlikely they give pimps anything at so we must assume that you are claiming the pimps are now selling sex themselves? (Which, as it represents significant rehabilitation is a very good thing that must surely be encouraged to continue).
“Sex buyers give human traffickers two-thirds of their billions”**
In the event that the annual tax returns of human traffickers are scrupulously accurate, and they are equally willing to provide a market breakdown to the first abolitionist NGO that asks, there is still a problem with the fact that all verifiable hard evidence suggests that Nordic model legislation either fails to affect or increases human trafficking for sex, while reducing the income and increasing the risk to sex workers which, in turn leaves them many times more vulnerable to coercion and exploitation than they would otherwise be.
The internationally acknowledged “best practice” to reduce all forms of human trafficking involves identifying it with a view to accuracy rather than padding statistics, then prosecuting it under existing human trafficking legislation.
Thank you for taking time out from your busy day to prove that you are wrong and I am right, YET AGAIN.
All unsubstantiated rubbish, no more no less, ask for facts, they have none, because all the facts contradict them.
That is WRONG, it is as wrong and rotten, in it’s own right, as the propaganda that killed 7 million Jews in Nazi Germany. They are not openly demanding extermination, but then neither did the Nazis, they “resettled” Jews…just as the abolitionists seek to “resettle” sex workers. The fact that, if they get their way, globally, many sex workers will end up “resettled” into suicide or lethal levels of destitution and desperation with no alternative is as conveniently ignored as the crematoriums at Auchwitz.
The abolitionists claim that their “resettlement” of sex workers will offer “exit resources” (an excellent euphemism for Zyclon B if I ever I heard one, but I doubt if they would get away with quite that!***). What nobody is recognising is that, as those “exit resources” are aimed at and based upon the fictional profiles of sex workers that best support the constant stream of propaganda not any form of reality, and, that being so are totally irrelevant to the needs of sex workers HOWEVER DESPERATE THEY MAY BE TO GET OUT.
Many women sell sex as the only escape they have from complex abuse, they are hardly likely to escape constructively into more complex abuse within an endlessly corrupt system of services and NGOs that seeks to perpetuate itself by preying upon them!
I know more about real desperation, vulnerability and disadvantage and how that interfaces with our society than Social Services and the NGO sector are even prepared to acknowledge. To them it is the commodity they trade in, build their careers and fulfil their ambitions upon, to me it is about human beings just as full, complex, bursting with potential and worth just as much as myself.
I also know that we have to do SOMETHING about the real abuses to which children and the vulnerable are subject, but the best we seem to be able to offer is to maintain a system that usually doesn’t abuse them quite as much, or at any rate, at least more impersonally.
The short version is that unless you are issued with a loving and functional family at birth that lasts until you are 18 your life is probably fucked, on way or another.
Social services and the NGO sector forced me to sell sex against my will…CRIMINALISE THEM with my blessing…but do not support legislation that will feed them more, fresh, prey.
…and do not legislate to obstruct the sane and loving mums who bravely do the unthinkable to have the means to protect their children as well as themselves from falling prey needlessly.
*With acknowledgement to @turnoffRL for providing this example of fact independent propaganda for illustrative purposes
**With acknowledgement to @turnoffRL for providing this sterling example of original codswallop on the fly for illustrative purposes
***It would seem I was wrong. On 12 July 2014, 366 days after the death of Petite Jasmine by Swedish Model Iraqi abolitionists stormed a building in Baghdad and shot dead 29 sex workers “for the crime of prostitution”.